anniversary

It's been three years here. And somehow, that's okay.

huzzah, me lads, huzzah.

This is (was) my last official day of school. Of course I have one final to take this friday (math? How'd you guess?) but....this was it. THIS WAS IT. No more love-of-my-life english class. No more beautiful Tosh. No more evading GS glances. No more lunch with C and RA. No more Ms. G for French class. No more senior friends. No more sneaking out of class to put various articles of clothing on the giant bronze horse. No more computer classes. NONE. No more, no more!

I BEG OF THEE-
WHAT ELSE HATH LIFE TO OFFER?

open ocean

"If you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work, and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea."
-Antoine de Saint Exupery

i don't need this.

This is a sad day for my childhood. Lloyd Alexander died Thursday at age 83, of cancer. He just finished a book, "The Golden Dream of Carlo Chuchio" which is based off Middle Eastern tales, and it will be out in August. I always had the dream of meeting him someday, and letting him know just how much my adventers with Taran and Princess Eilonwy influenced my writing. But now that dream is gone.
May God bless him and his family.

I'm on the verge of crying my eyes out. And I don't know why.

declarations

I'm feeling very self-fulfilled. I designed a whole stock of polo shirts for my english class. I designed, and made, the literary publications. I put a tie on the bronze horse at the front of school. Now all that's left is to climb the water tower. (It's a secret dream of mine, you see. But I'll have to do it at night, otherwise, I'll get arrested. But it really is going to happen before I graduate).

I've decided somethings about life:
-boys are stinky
-kitties are great
-catnip is the most amazing plant of all time. (I seriously think I'm high or something. It's so great.)
-siblings are annoyances to prepare you for annoyances in life
-and New Order is basically the best early 80's UK band.....ever. (Madness is late 80's UK, in case you were wondering.)

And if MUSIC were a man, I would have already said my vows.

ruminating

I took the first swim of the season yesterday. It was cool at first, but as I wriggled my way through the clear-as-crystal waters, muscles frantically working to remember the patterns from last summer, I gradually became used to it and it felt as warm as my skin. I found my swim-fins - the kind that people scuba dive with, and slowly paddled around with those. I know its ridiculous to have a small, 6-foot deep pool and be wearing gear such as that, but I am ridiculous.

I also saw spider-man three today, for mother's day. What an adventure! I thought it was fantastic. All this comic-book buisness is beginning to grow on me. My sister and I are seriously thinking about starting a series. We both have our characters and story outlines, now all that remains is to organize a little more and start sketching. I can't disclose any more information...I'm afraid the rest is a surprise.

Currently, I am listening to 'New Order' (a new fave) and struggling with the idiocies of chemistry. I have a week left, and if I can keep from drowning, an exemption form is mine. If not, I am sentanced to a very nasty exam as an unfun end of school year celebration. The same goes for math. I'll be estatic if I graduate with anything resembling a C. School is seriously depressing me. I'm under a ton of stress, and I'm sick to top it all off.
Oh bother, bother, bother.
I'm going to bed.

New Order - "True Faith"

I feel so extraordinary

Something's got a hold on me

I get this feeling I'm in motion

A sudden sense of liberty

I don't care 'cause I'm not there

And I don't care if I'm here tomorrow

Again and again I've taken too much

Of the things that cost you too much

I used to think that the day would never come

I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun

My morning sun is the drug that brings me near

To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear

I used to think that the day would never come

That my life would depend on the morning sun...

When I was a very small boy,

Very small boys talked to me

Now that we've grown up together

They're afraid of what they see

That's the price that we all pay

And the value of destiny comes to nothing

I can't tell you where we're going

I guess there was just no way of knowing

I used to think that the day would never come

I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun

My morning sun is the drug that brings me near

To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear

I used to think that the day would never come

That my life would depend on the morning sun...

I feel so extraordinary

Something's got a hold on me

I get this feeling I'm in motion

A sudden sense of liberty

The chances are we've gone too far

You took my time and you took my money

Now I fear you've left me standing

In a world that's so demanding

I used to think that the day would never come

I'd see delight in the shade of the morning sun

My morning sun is the drug that brings me near

To the childhood I lost, replaced by fear

I used to think that the day would never come

That my life would depend on the morning sun...

thunder

It is thunder and lightning outside, and I'm listening to music doing homework. Just got back from school - accpeting an award, that is. I actually didn't go to school today. I have a cold and I'm bone-weary, so I just stayed home and slept the whole day. And wow, did it feel good.
Right now I'm trying to plan out a beatnik party at a coffee shop next week....

I'm hoping people will actually perform. I'm a little nervous about performing myself, though.
The thing is, my English teacher is leaving next year and we wanted to present him with...well....we don't know yet. But anyway, I seem to get voted as 'head honcho' quite a good bit lately. I designed (and ordered) class shirts, I'm organizing this party, and I'm taking care of publications. I had to step out of Ren-Dance becuase earlier, two people took that job, and there's no way ONE unexperience dancer can suddenly take over with no notice. I mean, it's only fair, isn't it?
Thunder!
Lightning!
The Night Cries Out!

I think I am letting people walk over me too much. I think I shall return to my beret, black turtle-neck, poetry, and hot cup of tea.
A Beatnik am I.

Thunder!
Rain, Rain, Rain....

disregard

I needed this link somewhere (its for when we decide upon printing the end of year writing journal):
http://fedex.com/us/officeprint/onlineprint/news.html?CMP=ILC-PRN009

head in hands stance

I am incredibly depressed. So I failed the college math. Now what am I supposed to do?

feeling frodo-ish

still majorly stressed out, so could you pray for me? SAT was fine. I spent the rest of that day tooling around art mueseums with my english class. It was a good saturday. I've decided that I'll go to college (locally!) for the first couple years dowtown. It's awesome.

Well, I'm getting ready to head off to take another college course-thing. I failed the last three, so I'm trying for the last time. Math is killer. I'm so tired, I fell as though my eyes could just fall out of my head and roll around on the keyboard.

I'm off to Mount Doom...dunno if I'll return alive...

sweaty-toothed madman

It's a good week, but its stressing me out....I'm in charge now of the literary magazine and English T-shirts, I have my SAT this saturday, and I'm swamped with homework. I'm hoping to keep it all together before the school year ends, but each day I get a little more frayed....
I'm a madman! A sweaty-toothed madman!

I just got my haircut - it's supershort. And I mean SHORT. I'll post a picture soon, on Finch's Nest. Guess what? I spent last weekend watching Dead Poet's Society - I just couldn't stop thinking about it, especially after reading Catcher in the Rye (now one of my absolute favorites of all time). *sighs* I wish I could go to boy's prep school....

I also spent some very early hours last Friday at 3 in the morning, in war paint, driving around town with blaring music and hyper middle-schoolers. Gotta love church retreats. I signed up to be a chaperone/teacher, but of course I did neither.

Well....not much has changed around here - I'm still rocking out to my 80's music, working on the greatest literary works of all time (my short stories) and talking to Jupiter and watching it rain. I have a presentation tomorrow and a math and chem test and *gasp* SENIOR PORTRAITS. (Good Lord - where did the time go?) But it'll be Friday, so that's always a good thing.
Well, a good thing is if I get enough sleep, and I don't think I ever will. (I honestly envy Rip Van Winkle, you know that? Lucky, lucky....)

Hope it's all dandy with everyone else.
With love,
Nuwanda