getting close to the end,

here.
Seven weeks or so of school left. This will be my last actually decent year, 'cause next year, I won't have hardly a school. The construction is going to get really bad, and they're taking away most of our breaks.
I'll probably have to hospitalized for insanity half-way through.
I wouldn't be surprised.

I'm still trying to figure out all the college stuff.
I'm going to stuck here for seven years.
*sighs* Unless I somehow make enough money as an author and can afford to live in a flat somewhere...fly home on holidays...living sweetly, just myself and my cats and computers.

I'm listening to some spiffy 80's austrailian rock-opera music. It's flippin' awesome.....Want to hear it? Yes?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Yav3C4nKAY

The group is called Split Enz. I have a growing fondness for them. They're pretty cool. That song probably isn't their best, but I really like it.

Well, I had to present a poem to the class today: the Darkling Thrush by Thomas Hardy (my new favorite!) I was the first one to go, so I trembled from head to toe so badly that I thought I would faint. But otherwise, I did alright. I painted a picture of a bird in a snowy tree, and tacked up behind me. I was dressed in 1910'ish clothing (-ish being the key word). So, I'm hoping my props will make up for my horrific acting.

Still thinking about publishing something. I don't know about novel (I'm almost ADD when it comes to long stretches of literature, you know) so I'll just do a collection of vignettes and short stories.

Hmmm. Yes.

Thinking aloud.

and my buddy...

....is still miles across the atlantic.

when will she ever come home?

new furniture

always has such a distinctive smell.
especially leather. ever noticed it?
like a dust layer, it settles,
a portion of commercialized industry
in your living room,
standing quietly alone,
or making a broad statement.
the new texture, length, style -
all takes time to become accostumed to.
not the same as the old,
not love worn, or stained
but fresh, reeking of the factory,
and new,
and exhilarating.
new furniture,
it is.

stage fiaso

I just finished the Radio Program show I gave for my church. Last year at the banquet, I played four of my own piano compositions. This year, some girls and I did a comedy radio play. We had three separate skits with songs and crazy characters. Should have been sheer fun.

But it was madness.

On the way here, there was an ugly yelling match with Jack and Al who don't cooperate anyway, but now they really weren't. We got our sound check 5 minutes before people started arriving. I was pulling out great chunks of hair and hyperventilating.

Then our turn for performing came around.

First, I get out on stage, and my hands shook so badly I couldn't play the first song. It came out all jumbly, so I just stopped and joined in singing. But I forgot what it was I supposed to sing. And then when I did, it actually the wrong words. Ever heard of the song "Big rock candy mountain"? The actual lyrics aren't too church appropirate, so in the script I altered them. However, I found myself singing the original lyrics ON STAGE.
"Where cigarettes grow on treees...."
I sure it went over really well.

Then, I was slow on other cues, and on my way out, knocked an entire microphone stand down some wooden steps, narrowly missing a stand of lit candles.

When I came back on, I forgot to sing the melody part, so the song was all in harmony. No melody what-so-ever. Then I put the wrong sound effects on. Then, I found that my mike was having problems (since its recent tumble) and the cord was jammed under my piano stand. I had to bend and fix that, nearly toppling piano, candles, mike and all. But fortunantly I didn't. Then I forgot to stand closer to the mike (considering its weird, sideways position) and most of my lines were lost.

On my way off the stage, I tripped on cords.

Third and last time on stage, I was wearing sunglasses for my character - and found that they were so dark, I could barely read the words on my script. I stuttered every other word (instead of being the coy Italien heiress I was supposed to be). Then I got my accents mixed up, and left the piano on stage when I wasn't supposed to....tripping again on my way out. Then as I was cleaning up, there was a quiet lull that was soon filled with the crash of me dropping a hammer down a staircase by accident.
There's no one on earth clumsier.


a fiaso! A complete fiasco!
my acting career is over!

oscar wilde quote

"give a man a mask,
and he will tell you the truth."

i just finished writing

a ten page paper
without even breaking a sweat
and now i'm gonna party
like there's no tomorrow.

de beranger to poe

Son coeur est un luth suspendu;
Sitot qu'on le touche il resonne

His heart is a suspended lute;
when it is touched, it resounds.

"ghost of corporate future" - Regina Spektor

A man walks out of his apartment,
It is raining, he's got no umbrella
He starts running beneath the awnings,
Trying to save his suit,
Trying to save his suit.T
rying to dry, and to dry, and to dry but no good

When he gets to the crowded subway platform,
He takes off both of his shoes
He steps right into somebody's fat loogie
And everyone who sees him says, "Ew."
Everyone who sees him says, "Ew."

But he doesn't care,
'Cause last night he got a visit from the
Ghost of Corporate Future
The ghost said, "Take off both your shoes
Whatever chances you get
Especially when they're wet."

He also said,"Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan."

"And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic,
And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted."

"You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now.
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now."

"Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news,
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both."

"Maybe you should cut your own hair
'Cause that can be so funny
It doesn't cost any money
And it always grows back
Hair grows even after you're dead"

"And people are just people,
They shouldn't make you nervous.
The world is everlasting,
It's coming and it's going.
If you don't toss your plastic,
The streets won't be bombastic.
And if you kiss somebody,
Then both of you'll get practice."

"The world is everlasting
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
Put dirtballs in your pocket,
And take off both your shoes.
'Cause people are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.
People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you."

The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
The world is everlasting
It's coming and it's going
It's coming and it's going

odd-ball stories

Some stories manifest themselves in one's head in some weird ways.

Just five days agoI woke up at 5:17 with the word 'pall-bearer' at the front of my brain. Then the first sentance came, clear, and crisp. But I didn't know what to do with it. I hadn't had a proper story shove it way forward and demand with so much eagerness to be written like that before.

And I'm proud to say that's its now completed, and I hope to get it published in the school paper. The main character will turn up sometime later - he had a name, even though its never mentioned in the story - and I hope to compile all of my vignettes and short stories together sometime in the very near future.

"shiver" - coldplay

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention, do you
I know you don't listen to me '
Cause you say you see straight through me, don't you

But on and on, from the moment I wake
'Till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
Just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
Just to see if you care

Did you want me to change
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know
That you'll always get your way
I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

So you know how much I need you
But you never even see me, do you
And is this my final chance of getting you

But on and on, from the moment I wake '
Till the moment I sleep
I'll be there by your side
Just you try and stop me
I'll be waiting in line
Just to see if you care
if you care

Did you want me to change
Well I changed for good
And I want you to know
That you'll always get your way
And I wanted to say

Don't you shiver
Don't you shiver
Sing it loud and clear
I'll always be waiting for you

Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
Yeah, I'll always be waiting for you
For you
I will always be waiting

And it's you I see
But you don't see me
And it's you I hear
So loud and so clear
I sing it loud and clear
And I'll always be waiting for you

So I look in your direction
But you pay me no attention
And you know how much I need you
But you never even see me.